03 June 2017

Preparing For Your First Meetup

This post probably won't be of much use for my more experienced readers, but for someone who has never been to a lolita meetup before it could be really helpful.

Meeting new people is hard, especially if you have any kind of social anxiety or are generally super shy. Most lolitas I've met are friendly and welcoming to new people. There's nothing to be afraid of!

Here are some tips for preparing for your first meetup - I hope they help you feel more confident in making friends with your local community or with lolitas you may meet while traveling.

  • If there is an online event post, look at who is attending and try to remember faces and names. Nobody is perfect, and you'll probably want to formally introduce yourself anyways. If you introduce yourself and reply to their name with "Oh, nice to meet you X. I think I recognize you from Facebook/Instagram/Etc." they'll feel flattered. 
  • Prepare your coordinate the night before. If you're frustrated with how something looks or can't find that missing sock, you'll be too stressed to enjoy yourself. While you don't have to look absolutely perfect, being prepared will help fight the fear of looking bad.
  • Arrive fifteen minutes early. A saying I love goes: If you're on time, you're already late. Double check when the meet starts and give yourself wiggle room for traffic and finding the location. Being late to a formal event - such as a tea party or a tour - will cause trouble for the host and could delay the activity. 
  • Bring cash, especially small bills. Dining out together goes smoothly if you have cash on hand instead of trying to split the check with a dozen different cards. It is also incredibly handy to have small bills, because inevitably someone will ask if anyone has change for a $20.
  • Listen more than you speak. The best way to make friends is to remember what they've told you and ask them about it later. Pay attention to who likes what, what they do for a living, and what they don't like. People love talking about themselves, so ask them open-ended questions. You have this fashion in common, so you already have an icebreaker.
  • Thank the host for the event. You don't have to make a lengthy thank-you on the Facebook event page, but just thanking the host in person will make them feel like the hassle of hosting the meet was worth it. Let them know you had a good time meeting everyone, and you look forward to seeing them again.
  • Remember that lolitas are people too. They might not want to automatically be your best friend, be in all your selfies, or cover your drink because you forgot your wallet at home. Be polite and respectful, and don't be discouraged if it takes a while for them to include you in their social circle.

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  1. I agree with everything you say here! I think it is especially important to remember that we all are people too, and that socializing works (almost) the same as with any other group of (new) people :)

    1. Thank you, it definitely is important!