If you've been into Lolita for a fair amount of time, you have probably noticed that your outlook on life has changed in little or big ways. I see this in how I save and spend my money, who my friends are and how I socialize, how I see quality, and many other perspectives. Lolita has also taught me a thing or two about relationships. In the very least, it helped me realize something very important in successful relationships.
While I won't go into much detail, I recently split from a long-term relationship and got into a new one. It's been a rough winter so far, but I'm doing alright emotionally.
During some self-reflection about what was going wrong in my relationship and why it hadn't been working for a long time, I realized that Lolita played a subtle but pivotal role in highlighting some of our problems.
- I know I'm comfortable with my significant other when I can wear Lolita out with them. As someone with mild social anxiety, those new-relationship butterflies aren't always pleasant. In all of my relationships, I notice I wear Lolita out with them when I finally feel comfortable. When it feels real, and I know they are here to stay. If you're debating whether to wear it out with your S.O. maybe use your first public Lolita outing together as an indicator if you feel comfortable with them. Sort of like when you go without make-up in front of them or let them see you cry for the first time.
- I know they love me if they can put up with Lolita-induced stress. I've had serious freak-outs over the dumbest of things - like having to cancel on a meet because I left my petti at home an hour away and getting anxiety because of bad traffic on the way - and it really means a lot when my S.O. doesn't think I'm crazy. Having someone who recognizes your feelings and doesn't label you as the "psycho girlfriend" trope because a fashion style stresses you out is nice. It's important to know they have your back even for trivial matters that somehow grind your gears.
- Even if they don't like Lolita, they need to still support it. This one is the most significant epiphany I had. If my S.O. likes Lolita or even wants to try out boy-style to match me, that is certainly a bonus! However, even if they don't like the fashion for whatever reason, it is important they still respect my passion and keep their complaints to themselves. This is important because it reflects how they will treat your other hobbies, interests, and beliefs in life. Couples don't have to agree on everything, but they need to be able to respect and support each other.
These are just a few of my inner thoughts and reflections on my relationships and Lolita fashion. I hope that this helps you see the dynamic between the fashion and your S.O. or at least gave you a small insight into my life.