Habits I've Picked Up From Lolita

This week's Lolita Blog Carnival topic is to talk about habits picked up from Lolita. While I can easily think of ways my life has changed because of the fashion, it was more difficult and interesting to think of habits specifically.

1. Need for matching

Because I got into jfashion pretty early on in my style development, it has definitely influenced how I pick out my outfits. Even with my normal, every-day clothes I have picked up the habit of consciously coordinating every little aspect of my outfit to make sure it matches. Nowadays, you'll rarely see me in something that doesn't match. 

Not only has Lolita helped me develop my personal style and a more composed way of actually putting good-looking outfits together, but colors and textures are also on point!

2. Saving money towards big purchases

I actually got my first job solely to pay for Lolita. I've been fortunate to be able to live with my parents throughout university, so most of my paychecks since I turned 16 has gone to either food or clothes. Like a lot of middle class kids, I got an allowance which I spent on trivial things like going to the movies with my friends or getting something cute.

It wasn't until I got a real job and wanted to buy brand that I learned how to save. As you well know, it is hard to pass up small pleasures when you're trying to save up for something larger down the road. However, this skill and habit of constantly saving a portion of any money I receive has definitely helped me in real life and in acquiring the Lolita wardrobe I have now.

3. Admiring small details and quality of craftsmanship

One pretty common habit I hear from a lot of Lolitas is that once you've been in the fashion for a while, you tend to prefer quality over quantity in other areas of your life as well. 

My current significant other once commented how he found it strange that he was actually interested in my jewelry collection because "most girls only care about the stones" while I had such an assortment of odd shapes and intricate details. Ignoring the comment itself, he made a point. Lolita is largely about the small details in the fabric, trim, and prints. Throughout my development of making better matching and creative coordinates, I've collected a lot of different accessories that I take pride on the quality and detail.

In addition to fashion, I've ascribed to the philosophy that it is better to spend more money on quality than buy something cheap that you'll replace soon. This has helped me not waste money on things I don't need and won't last.

4. Doing my makeup

Just like the habits for matching and saving money, doing my makeup is a habit that is hard to separate from Lolita because of when I started wearing the fashion.

Doing my makeup, hair, and wearing jewelry all began when I got into Lolita. While a lot of us like to say that being yourself in your clothes is the most important, there is definitely a lot of pressure to wear makeup and invest a lot in personal grooming. 

For me, I think this was a good habit because it has helped me feel more comfortable in my skin as an adult. Makeup is both a creative outlet and a way to combat laziness and depression for me. If I maintain the habit of grooming myself each morning, I feel more productive and less like a slob still wearing my pajamas days at a time.

5. Photographing moments

Growing up as a millennial, I've come from a strange transitional background when it comes to technology. I didn't have a phone and still used disposable film cameras until middle school. I took photos of the most random things growing up. I recently found several of just a gray area with a bright spot - I think I was trying to take photos of fireworks...

When I started wearing Lolita, I wanted to document my outfits so I could share them online for coordinating advice and to look back on later for future outfit inspiration. The more invested I got in the online/social aspect of the fashion, the more photos I took of outfits, meetups, and selfies with new friends.

Now I have thousands of photos on my iPhone and several hundred more on my DSLR that I bring with me to events and trips. I can look back and see both important moments in my life and smaller but just as memorable moments.


What habits have you picked up from Lolita or other jfashions?

Other blogs who participated:
Darkly Darling

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What Lolita Has Taught Me About Relationships

If you've been into Lolita for a fair amount of time, you have probably noticed that your outlook on life has changed in little or big ways. I see this in how I save and spend my money, who my friends are and how I socialize, how I see quality, and many other perspectives. Lolita has also taught me a thing or two about relationships. In the very least, it helped me realize something very important in successful relationships.

While I won't go into much detail, I recently split from a long-term relationship and got into a new one. It's been a rough winter so far, but I'm doing alright emotionally.

During some self-reflection about what was going wrong in my relationship and why it hadn't been working for a long time, I realized that Lolita played a subtle but pivotal role in highlighting some of our problems.

1. I know I'm comfortable with my significant other when I can wear Lolita out with them. As someone with mild social anxiety, those new-relationship butterflies aren't always pleasant. In all of my relationships, I notice I wear Lolita out with them when I finally feel comfortable. When it feels real, and I know they are here to stay. If you're debating whether to wear it out with your S.O. maybe use your first public Lolita outing together as an indicator if you feel comfortable with them. Sort of like when you go without make-up in front of them or let them see you cry for the first time.
2. I know they love me if they can put up with Lolita-induced stress. I've had serious freak-outs over the dumbest of things - like having to cancel on a meet because I left my petti at home an hour away and getting anxiety because of bad traffic on the way - and it really means a lot when my S.O. doesn't think I'm crazy. Having someone who recognizes your feelings and doesn't label you as the "psycho girlfriend" trope because a fashion style stresses you out is nice. It's important to know they have your back even for trivial matters that somehow grind your gears.
3. Even if they don't like Lolita, they need to still support it. This one is the most significant epiphany I had. If my S.O. likes Lolita or even wants to try out boy-style to match me, that is certainly a bonus! However, even if they don't like the fashion for whatever reason, it is important they still respect my passion and keep their complaints to themselves. This is important because it reflects how they will treat your other hobbies, interests, and beliefs in life. Couples don't have to agree on everything, but they need to be able to respect and support each other.

These are just a few of my inner thoughts and reflections on my relationships and Lolita fashion. I hope that this helps you see the dynamic between the fashion and your S.O. or at least gave you a small insight into my life.

Photo from the internet, original source unknown.

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Lolita Goals For 2017

It is practically obligatory for lolita bloggers to post some kind of New Year's Resolutions post this time of year. The reason why? Because it is super helpful and motivating to document your goals for the next year in the hopes you don't forget them in a month. Self-improvement is a good thing for fashion too!

Taking the idea from Cupcake Kamisama, I wanted to create a list of SMART goals this year instead of vague, easy-to-forget hopes. Using Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound goals will hopefully help me reach where I want to be this coming year.

• Cull my dress down to comfortably fit into my one big wardrobe and post it all for sale by the end of the month. Because of life events and a major room reorganization, I now have less space to store my lolita than ever and more dresses than can fit without dangerously smooshing them into one another. I need to let some dresses go that I've been hoarding onto for years without really wearing them (like Honey Cake, which I don't want to sell because it was my first brand dress but just really isn't my style anymore) and let my friends buy items they're interested in unless I feel strongly about keeping something.
• Resist browsing Lacemarket at all. I always seem to find something I really want whenever I go there, but I need to spend less and save up for dream dresses. Thanks to Lacemarket's handy tool for search alerts, I can easily stick to this goal by only going on LM when my emails bings me about a message/buyer or when someone lists a dress I'm looking for specifically.
• Film and post at least two videos a month. Somehow 2016 was a major creative block for my Youtube channel and I was barely posting one a month. Usually these were only hauls or event vlogs. Excepting this January because of personal chaos, I want to slowly try to get back into making videos again.
• Wear Lolita at least once a week. Again, like filming, I was not very good at wearing Lolita out and about. I have so many pretty things and rarely get to wear them out!

What are your goals for 2017?

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How to Style Your Hair Without Bangs

One question that seems to pop up in advice groups often is how to style your hair for Lolita if you don't have bangs.

While full or side fringe is extremely popular in Lolita fashion, it isn't necessary. Some people don't look good with bangs or don't want to deal with the time/effort to maintain them. As the fashion trends back to natural hair, it is becoming more and more popular to do so. Even if you don't have bangs, you can still look fashionable!

I didn't have bangs for the first year or so that I was in the fashion. I didn't wear much makeup and didn't spend a lot of time styling my hair. It did not look good. It didn't help that I have a large forehead and look a lot better with bangs. However, since then I have learned better how to style no-bangs hair.

Take a look at a few examples I've curated of wonderful no-bangs hair styles. Keep scrolling for an explanation of why these work, and how you can style your own no-bang natural hair.

Photo credits to: L.E. Miller Photography, PMX Fashion, Innocent World/Lolibrary, and my wonderful friends.

What you'll notice about these examples (and many others) is two factors that really makes the style look good and look appropriate with Lolita fashion:

Actually style your hair

Just like any aspect of the fashion, effort is what makes an outfit look good. You don't have to spend hours curling, braiding, or teasing your hair into complicated styles to match your coordinate. Just make sure to invest in a haircut that suits your face and spend at least minimal effort to brushing and/or detangling your luscious locks. 

Some more creative ideas: braid some of your hair over your forehead for "mock bangs", pull one side to the back with a big flower piece, wrap some braids around your head in a large circle "crown", or even pull back natural afro-textured hair into one or two ponytails.

It's all about the headwear

It's pretty standard knowledge that some kind of head covering is a key part of any Lolita coordinate, and selecting the right headwear for the right hairstyle is important for making it look good.

I suggest keeping your headwear either: flat against your head (as you see above with an old-school headdress), off-center, or as a hat. Plopping a big alice-style headbow onto your head might not look the best without bangs. But shift it to the side and it will look a lot more stylish. Hats and berets are also really great for people who don't have bangs. Hats are getting more popular, especially big floppy Ascot-style ones. I don't know exactly why it looks so good, but it does! Plus, without bangs you don't have to worry about smushing them under the brim...

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PMX 2016

One of my favorite conventions to go to is the Pacific Media Expo (PMX) in the fall. The first year I went it was by the Los Angeles airport, but for the past two years it has been in Pasadena. I have no preference to the location, but I have to say the new location splitting the convention into two different buildings was strange. Not bad though, since it was nice to be separated from the anime part of PMX. Made it feel much more intimate and more lolita than anime.

Day One - Juliette et Justine VIP Brunch & Cafe V Panel

I went to PMX this year with my good friend Sara (thankfully she drove the entire time!), and we left Thursday evening so I could make it to the VIP brunch Friday morning.

The venue was beautiful, the food was delicious, and the company was splendid. We did have issues with the ordering process, which I later found out was because the waiter was supposed to give us all a prefix menu. I won't go into detail because I am still a little confused about the whole ordeal. However, when I asked for a non-dairy option the waiter put up such a fuss about how almost everything had something dairy and he'd see if the chef could come up with something. I can't believe they never have vegan guests, and he was rude about it. It wouldn't have been such a big deal if we could know what sandwiches we would get with out meal before hand, but noooo we got whatever they had the ingredients for that day. 

As gorgeous as the venue was, I don't think I'd go there again on my own.

I have to say, Nakamura is quite honestly the sweetest designer I've ever met. She is so genuine in her compliments and her interest us. At her Q&A panel the next day, she gave a lot of typical "You are all my inspiration!" answers, but she really meant them.

She is also the most flexible designer I've met. Although she revealed she had lost most of her print designs from a computer crash, she said she was more than happy to try to re-release some if someone could lend her the original item to redraw the print from. She mentioned to us that she likes hearing requests and those that speak the loudest are the most likely to get their wish. Based on the VIP tea party, a rerelease of the famed "dragon-chan"(?) might be seen soon!

Nakamura is also so delighted with requests for custom one-of-a-kind dresses, like wedding dresses. Of course it would take a long time and lots of money, but she said she would be honored to exchange emails with you to figure out how to make the wedding gown of your dreams.

After the brunch, I went to the early access shopping. I only bought a pair of tights from the JetJ booth because I had told myself I would only buy a dress if they brought Antique Doll. I did buy some accessories from various indie designers, and I bought a print and a commission from Ainiwaffles of myself. Check out what I bought when I post my PMX haul video!

In the evening, Sara and I went to Cafe V's panel. They unfortunately weren't able to have an acutal butler cafe this time, but they treated their panel like one of their events. They threw cheeky quips at each other and fun little games for the crowd. I heard from someone that their panel was the fullest the con had this year. 

And as always, I was the first to jump at the opportunity for kabe-don. They are so good at it, and I love to support all their endeavors. Totally not endorse, but try to attend an event if you're in town!

My outfit for day one consisted of my only JetJ dress (which I shamelessly wore twice because I felt obligated to wear JetJ to see the designer...) and a beautiful hat I bought last year at the Dicken's Fair. I hope to find more this year...

• JSK - Juliette et Justine, La Robe du Château
• Blouse, shoes - Baby, the Stars Shine Bright
• Necklace - Offbrand
• Hat - Offbrand
• Socks - Innocent World

Day Two - Marvelous Menagerie Tea Party

The second day of PMX was the grand tea party. It was offsite, which was a little inconvenient to walk to... but I sure could use the exercise! The venue was gorgeous, decorated to look like a picturesque English garden. Supposedly we were supposed to have the whole place booked to ourselves, but I didn't really notice the other patrons because our section was secluded.

Every guest received a beautiful custom JetJ tea cup and saucer, rose flavored sugar hearts, a BB and B Confectionery phone charm, and a plastic folder from Haenuli full of treats (a comic book, stickers, and a catalog).

I have to say that I was so happy we had iced tea. It was unbearable hot and dry that weekend for the middle of October. Then again, it's Los Angeles...

Sara and I left right after the tea party so we could go back to our room and rest for our 10:30pm reservation at a fabulously crazy restaurant Barton G. Oh man, those liquid nitrogen cocktails and cheesy lobster poptarts... YUM!

My outfit for day two was the same JetJ dress, but coordinated much fancier than Friday's. Big surprise! I love the Victorian look (Nakamura just loved how I looked like Mary Poppins), but I also wanted to pair my Triple Fortune bonnet with this dress. I wanted to include as many crazy elements into my coord to match the hodgepodge of a print. I added a little gold bird to my hair, a castle rosette, and cat themed things everywhere.

• JSK - Juliette et Justine, La Robe du Château
• Blouse - Baby, the Stars Shine Bright
• Tights, cat ring - Enchantlic Enchantilly
• Bonnet - Triple Fortune
• Cat portrait ring - Mossbadger
• Shoes - Bait
• Peony brooch - Moss Märchen
• Wig - Lockshop, Starlet in Vanille
• Everything else - Offbrand

Day Three - Fashion Show

Day three was mostly just the fashion show for me since I was modeling for LIEF. Although I was sad not to have fit the aesthetic for JetJ, I love LIEF's things just as much. The four of us had a blast together - it's much more personal and fun when the modeling group is smaller.

I didn't take many photos since I was busy socializing and prepping for the show, so I had to borrow one from Sienna.

I had such a blast at PMX this year, I hope you'll come if you have the chance!

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