Why Photoshoots Have Been so Important in Lolita Fashion

The end results of lolita photoshoots are everywhere from catalogs and Japanese mooks, to social media and private mobile phone galleries. Closet of Frills gets a dozen new outfit posts every day, and there are over 665,000 #lolitafashion posts on Instagram at the time of writing this.

You'd be hard-pressed to find a lolita who doesn't take any photos of their coordinates in any capacity, even so much as to cherish them privately on their phone or keep track of their wardrobe collection on their personal computer. Every lolita meetup, from grandiose afternoon tea parties to smaller casual picnics, has at least an unofficial time when attendees take photos of their outfits and selfies with their friends.

And if you dig deeper, if you pause and really look at what's going on in your local community and maybe in your own behavior, you'll probably observe that lolitas really like photoshoots. Not to say everyone jumps at the chance to be a supermodel for half an hour, especially since I personally know several lolitas who are very private people and are pretty camera shy. But as a whole, photoshoots have been a big thing in lolita fashion for a long time.

Why is that? I have a few theories...

Lolita fashion is a visually artistic hobby

Unlike hobbies that appealing to other senses - such as baking, gardening, or playing an instrument - fashion is something that is intended to be seen.

Some people see their pieces as part of a collection, others see it as just another section in their wardrobe, but no matter how personally you define lolita it is an art form to put together an outfit. That's why we call outfits "coordinates", right? We coordinate different clothing pieces together into something that matches, melds, and looks visually beautiful. Lolita fashion is more intentional than throwing on an outfit of t-shirt and jeans that doesn't really spark any kind of creativity.

One of my best friends said once how she always takes time to get a bunch of photos of her coords, even though she doesn't post them all on Instagram. She sees her coordinates as art, as something ephemerally beautiful that she wants to be able to look back and remember.

Photo Credit to Brian Tokuyoshi

We want to share with others what we love

Building on the idea that creating a lolita coordinate is artistic, I believe photoshoots are a way to document your masterpiece to be able to share it with others.

Do you remember when you were a kid and you did arts and crafts in school? You came home and ran to your parents to show them your creation with a giant grin on your face. (Or something like that.) When we create something we're proud of. we want to share it with the world to get validation, praise, recognition, and all the other responses that send happy chemical signals to our brains.

Having a photoshoot enables us to show off. We had an grand vision in our heads about looking like a space princess, a fairy queen, or whatever creative idea that sparked your outfit. Maybe we spent hours hand-crafting an accessory or prop (or want to showcase an indie designer who did the same). Photoshoots let us showcase those details that mean a lot to us and that express who we are.

Not to mention some people aspire to be a lolita model, and having a photoshoot - even in the park with a "friendtographer" - lets you feel that!

We live in an age of "likes"

Not only do many lolitas dream of modeling for a big brand like Angelic Pretty or Baby, the Stars Shine Bright, but they want to be e-famous. I don't judge people who want internet fame (unless that notoriety is because someone intentionally stirrs drama and hurts people along their way) because we live in an age of external validation from the internet.

I majored in Global Studies in university, and it is definitely not an isolated trend to obsess over social media followings and "likes." Our culture and our young generations are caught up in the psychological trap of needing strangers on the internet to fawn over them or else they don't feel good about themselves.

This is where having lolita photoshoots comes in - to take better quality and more aesthetically pleasing photos that might get more "likes" on Instagram. Photos with bad lighting, blurry and grainy focus, bland posing, and background clutter (calling myself out here on my own newbie-lolita messy bedroom mirror shots...) just aren't as popular on social media.

I am in no way saying that everyone who takes part in lolita photoshoots do it for fame, but it is a very probable motivation for some.

It's how we discovered lolita

In the end, I think we like taking dozens of photos of our outfits because that's just how this fashion has been. From the early street snaps of mysterious Japanese girls who we all admired and wished we could dress like, outfit photos and fantastical photoshoots have been a tradition in our fashion subculture.

To loosely quote an old Deer Stalkers video: we do it because we like it, we do it because we can!

Photo Credit Ira Tilak

Thank you for reading my thought garbage, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject!

Also, please check out the other participants in this week's theme.

Other blogs who participated:
Cupcake Kamisama

The Bloody Tea Party
Roli's Rambling

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What Lolita Wardrobe Posts Don't Show You

I get asked a lot to film an updated wardrobe tour. The last one I did was a few years ago. Why do I keep procrastinating? Because I have a daunting amount of lolita to photograph or film. Recently, in trying to motivate myself to finally do it, I had a thought.

Wardrobe posts are glamorized and polished into a perfect photogenic humble-brag. But a wardrobe post isn't going to show you what my wardrobe really looks like. Why? Because...

They don't show you what it looks like every day.

If you can look me straight in the eye and tell me that your wardrobe looks immaculate every single day, I would have a hard time believing you. Blouses aren't buttoned, socks aren't folded, dresses aren't zipped. Shit gets disorganized. It's okay, you're not alone!

It starts with saying yes to going out to dinner with some friends after a meet, coming home exhausted to throw everything in a pile and passing out. Then you get busy and forget to clean up. Then the next time you go out, you think you might as well put everything away at once and leave your lolita on the floor next to the first. Then you get busy or depressed and let the clutter pile up.

It adds up.

But it sure feels good once you finally do wash and put everything away, and you fall in love with your wardrobe again.

They don't show you the guilt, disappointment, and regret.

I always aim to plan my purchases. I don't buy pretty things just because I can, because maybe it will fit if I just lose those few holiday pounds, or because it's popular. My parents raised me to think about something a couple days before I buy something to make sure I still want it, and I do practice this. Most of the time. But every once in a while I feel...

The crushing disappointment when you order a pair of shoes from a new brand, and they are too small despite being your usual size. 

The hot tears bubbling up from your eyes when an item gets lost in the mail or damaged by the postal service. 

The pang of regret when a dress arrives looking different than the stock photo, and you wish you'd ordered the other colorway. 

The disbelief when you stop to think about just how big your collection is - "Do I really have that many pins?"

They don't show you the forgotten pieces.

When I was just starting out in lolita, I balked when people said they would lose socks, blouses, or headpieces. "Lolita is so precious, how could you possibly lose something like that? Do you just throw everything around like your normal clothes?" Yes. Yes we do.

When you have limited space to store everything like I do, some pieces get forgotten for months at a time. Sleeves and skirt folds cover up other dresses when you shove it onto the rack. Shoes get left in the car or accidentally shoved under the bed. Socks get stuck in a laundry loop (this started happening when I moved in with my boyfriend whose job is to do the laundry but never quite washes everything at once). Rings get left in different purses.

We all have pieces we like and pieces we love. We have favorites that get worn much more than others. Some of those lesser-worn things are left to collect dust because they are reserved for rare special occasions or specific holidays, and sometimes they get forgotten because you simply have too many things. 

Honestly, it's embarrassing to admit, but I spilled champagne down the front of Day Dream Bed (and since it was clear, I forgot all about it and didn't wash it after... you know where this is going). A whole year later, I thought to wear it only to discover in horror a giant brown stain! It took me a while to remember when was the last time I wore it to figure out what the stain was from. In the end, it came out easily from a simple soap wash, but the ordeal was an epiphany for me.

They don't show you the memories.

To me, each piece brings up memories of the good times I've had in them. The vacations, birthdays, tea parties, new friends, old friends, good food, and laughter.

When you look through someone else's lolita wardrobe post, you can see their style. You can see their taste in fashion and aesthetic. You could even guess their financial capabilities (although you shouldn't, sometimes you catch yourself assuming). But you can't know how a dress makes them feel or all the adventures they walked in a pair of shoes.

Because let's be honest, no matter how much we tell ourselves (or people on Rufflechat) that lolita is just clothes, our clothes means more than something to cover our bodies with. We choose to wear what expresses our creativity or identity, what makes us look good, and what makes us feel good.

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8 Things I Learned From Living Alone

If you have followed me online for a while, you have probably noticed that I've been almost consistently in relationships since I was 16. I've also always lived with someone else (different family members and then later boyfriends) for my entire life. I've spent the past 30 days completely alone, and I learned a few things.

These might seem trivial, unimportant, or obvious to you if you live alone yourself. But to me they aren't.

My boyfriend is in the military and left for training this past month. It's been a test of our relationship because we know that it is inevitable that we will be spending a year apart in the future. It's been tough, but it has also been graciously a short time apart.

One month seemed incredibly daunting at first, and let me tell you that everyone who says the first two weeks are the worst... they're right. Not only was I barred from any communication with my romantic partner who I've lived with for a year, but I was left to maintain and manage the apartment all on my own. Which is something I've never done before beyond a week or so when family would go on holiday.

So I definitely learned a lot about myself, about my relationship, and about living alone. I'd like to share these with you, maybe they will provide you some insight if you are about to go out on your own as well or remind you how it is at the beginning if you've been on your own for a while.

We can all learn someone new from stepping into someone else's shoes for a moment.

Things I took for learned:

1. It is much harder to get dressed with nobody to help zip you up, fix your lacing, or tell you if your straps are twisted in the back (forget being able to straighten them!)
2. Being able to hide from myself. I struggle with depression and social anxiety, and being with my partner enables me to hide from my inner demons and distract myself from things for a while. Being alone really brings it all to the surface, you can't bury it under taking care of someone you love and being taken care of in return. Emotional labor keeps your mind busy, and when you don't have to do it for anyone else... you're forced to deal with your demons.
3. The bed feels bigger both in a good and bad way. It's absolutely lovely to spread out and not get squished to the edge of the mattress in the middle of the night, but it's lonely to wake up and look over at an empty pillow.
4. It's difficult to cook for one. I love cooking and baking, and it really makes me happy and fulfilled to feed my partner home cooked meals. But when I'm alone I have much less motivation to cook anything more complicated than stiryfry. It's hard to eyeball one-person ingredient portions, you end up with so much leftovers, and you have to do 100% of the dishes.
5. Absence does make the heart grow fonder but at a price. You're going to have bad days where you ugly cry all over the place. Sob into your food, in traffic after work, in the shower, spotting a little thing they forgot to put away before they left. I had lots of good days (as time went on), and I've really learned to appreciate my relationship.
6. Nobody will judge you for throwing away the ends of the bok choy. And other things. Eating, watching, listening, and generally spending time the way you want without having to think about someone else's preference is definitely a benefit to living alone. Pants are optional! The bathmat is always dry! Nobody yells at you for leaving the bedroom door open!
7. Things stay too clean. The more people you live with, the more often you have to clean. I stress clean, so after a while I don't have anything left that's dirty. And because it's only me, it takes much longer to get dirty again. Except dishes, those never go away.
8. Life partners just make life easier. Some stressful things happened to me during that month that were really hard for me to deal with on my own. A good support network is so vital to staying sane, but your friends have to go home eventually. Some problems you just need someone to take off your hands for a bit and reassure you that everything is going to be okay. Adulting is hard, but it is harder alone.

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12 Lolita Blog Post Ideas

Someone on Rufflechat mentioned they wanted to start a lolita blog and wondered how those of us who do blog come up with unique ideas other than just reviews and outfits/events.

I get my inspiration from Rufflechat, believe it or not, and her question actually inspired this post! I may struggle with video ideas, but I rarely run out of blog post ideas. While I won't share with you my current to-write list (don't steal my thunder!), here is a list of lolita-related blog topic ideas for you to use or get inspiration from:

12 Lolita Blog Post Ideas

1. Your lolita story/journey. Tell your readers how you discovered lolita, what it means to you, how you've grown, how you learned how to coordinate, etc. Make it personal and share your beginner ita photos!
2. Indie brand reviews. Nobody needs to see another Angelic Pretty review (seriously, why do people keep making new ones), but new indie brands are coming out all the time that need some review love.
3. Recent lolita projects. Crafted your own headdress, learned how to adjust shirring, or embroidered a hoop for a lolita friend? Document it with progress photos, instructions, or just your thoughts.
4. Lolita Blog Carnival. If you have an established blog, you should really consider joining the Lolita Blog Carnival - join us for weekly topics and connect with your fellow bloggers!
5. Opinion pieces. Your blog should be personal, people like getting to know you. Encourage discussion by opening up on your feelings about something. Recent trends, brands going out of business, street harassment, Rufflechat posts (*cough*like this one)
6. Guides and Tutorials. Are you an expert in a certain craft? Savvy at packing lolita for trips? Love styling your hair? People like learning new things!
7. Lolita things to do in your area. I always see people asking what to do when they travel. If you live in a popular city, document where you suggest visiting lolitas to see: the good tea houses, historical places, the cutest restaurants, shops that might carry loliable things, the best places for coord photos, etc.
8. How to nail a substyle. If you've become a master at a difficult substyle (read: make sure you know what you're doing!), help out others with tips for how to pull it off.
9. Lolita events. If you had the opportunity to see a fashion show, go to a unique meetup, meet a lolita designer, or traveled to another country for a big tea party - share your experience!
10. The listicle. Even in the general blogosphere, people love list blog posts like this one. I personally love making them too!  Write lists of seasonal meet ideas, your favorite brands and why, lolita-esque media, your favorite Etsy shops, things beginners should avoid, what you've learned through lolita, brands as memes/cats/food/celebrities/etc. 
11. Different ways to coordinate. This one is always a good idea! Pick a piece and coordinate it for different seasons, substyles, dressy/casual, etc. 
12. Peak into your wardrobe. The wardrobe post in January is a long time tradition going back to Livejournal days.

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Why I Don't Want to Stop Using Instagram

This is going to be a brain dump of complaints about Instagram and complaints about other people complaining. We all are entitled to our own thoughts, and I just wanted to share mine. I'd love to hear your personal opinions in the comments!

A lot of talk has been floating around online about an alternative to Instagram. (Like Vero, which I will never use because I don't want to pay for something just as complicated as another Facebook and because the owner has questionable morals) Now, I am super frustrated with how Instagram has been changing its algorithm in the past year, making it harder and harder for my followers to see my posts. It's annoying that I don't see posts from most of the 400+ accounts I follow. The posts on my feed are out of order and from the same few people I interact with regularly.

I do social media for a living, so understanding and navigating through the increasingly murky waters of Instagram is something I can't hide from. I'm always trying to keep up with the newest algorithm changes that might not even be accurate (because Instagram is not a very transparent company...)

Nevertheless, I don't want to leave Instagram. I don't welcome change with open arms, especially when it comes to starting over from ground zero.

Here is my list of whiny reasons:

• I have a great base of followers who I love interacting with
• I love how I've gotten my feed to look lately
• I know the platform and have gotten into a good rhythm
• All my friends are there already
• It's so easy to search for photos for inspiration, motivation, and passing the time
• It's so simple, any other new platform would have to be just as simple
• It doesn't get political (unless you read comments/follow certain accounts)
• Trying to guess the algorithm is almost like a game for me
• Posting coords motivates me to dress up/wear my expensive ass hobby
• I use it as my modeling/marketing portfolio
• Even though I've lost "engagement" which is demoralizing, it motivates me to improve my photography, copywriting, networking, and general content creating skills
• I just don't like change, okay?!

What are yours?

Photo credit to Claire/Maximumclaire

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7 Essential Outfits Your Collection Needs

Whether you're just starting out or working on building out your wardrobe, you might feel a bit lost about where to go - which pieces are most important to get?

Everybody knows the basic necessities for any lolita wardrobe: petticoat, loliable shoes, blouses, dresses, headpieces, cute socks. But what about what kinds of pieces? There's a smarter way to fill out your collection than just buying whatever you fall in love with. Work on building essential outfits using pieces that can mix and match together ensures that you have a coordinate for most occasions. Never feel under or overdressed again!

Each example I picked uses mostly unique pieces that can be mixed and matched for more possibilities!

1. The Casual Coordinate For Every-Day Activities

Would you believe I went hiking in this outfit? (It was less than two hours but still!) This coordinate is so casual and comfortable that I can hike, do my work at a cafe, run errands, and use as a last-minute idea for impromtu events. My dress isn't dry-clean only, my tights are cheap to replace, my boots are offbrand and durable for lots of walking, and my accessories are minimal for avoiding unwanted attention from curious normies. Of course, I can change out accessories to dress it up for different occasions!

2. The Themed Coordinate For Special Meets and Halloween

Notice how this coordinate uses a simple accessory to bring out an Easter Rabbit theme in the print of my dress. Having a print (or non-print too!) that has a motif or color combination that can be used for a themed activity is a great option to have! Lolita fashion isn't a costume per se, but a themed coordinate can easily double as one for Halloween if you want!

3. The OTT Coordinate For Formal Tea Parties and Events

I used a couple of the same accessories here that I did in the previous example for a reason. Having a complete OTT coordinate (or just something fancy if you don't like over-the-top shenanigans) will provide you with lots of accessories you can use to spruce up standard outfits. I personally don't like feeling underdressed at an event, so I make sure to keep fancy pieces as well as casual pieces.

4. The Comfortable Coordinate For Days You Just Can't

My local comm loves creative, out-of-the-box meetups. I really appreciated having an incredibly comfortable coordinate for an all-you-can-eat brunch meet, and I have definitely needed something loose for when I felt sick but still wanted to attend something. These shoes may have heels, but they slip on and are surprisingly comfortable. Innocent World socks don't fall down my legs. This headbow doesn't give me a pressure headache. And of course my sack dress feels like I'm wearing nothing and hides everything!

5. The Standard Coordinate For Easy Dressing and Normal Meets

I think it is a good idea to have at least one main piece that is extremely versatile. Whether it has lots of colors, complex motifs, or multiple neutrals, that one dress that can match the majority of your accessories is a must-have item! I can't tell you how many completely different styles I've created using this one dress.

6. The Cold Weather Coordinate For Outdoors in the Winter

Cold-weather accessories and thicker fabrics are more useful than you think. Even if you live in an area that is warm and fair-weathered most of the year, you don't want to regret only having chiffon and ankle socks that one day! I live in sunny California, and I still get plenty of use out of this thick coat and my many cardigans. This applies for rainy days, windy days, or meetups at ice rinks and other chilly venues. If you plan your wardrobe right, you can use gloves, scarves, hats, boots, and other items with both your lolita and your regular clothes too!

7. The Coordinate You Don't Mind Getting Dirty

Whether you want to dress exclusively in brand or have an addiction to Taobao, you'll want an outfit you can get down and dirty in! Machine-washable pieces are your best friend. You don't want to wear your dream dress to pick berries, eat spaghetti, pet animals, explore outdoors, or risk getting spilled on at a carnival. I love this sailor dress I got from Cookie Bear and was able to truly enjoy exploring an old military base without worrying about getting scuffs or dirt. If my beret fell off onto the ground, I wouldn't care!

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Taking Back Daily Lolita

I recently joined a new lolita lifestyle group on Facebook called The Secret Garden. I love the concept, a place for lifestylers to share tips, trips, and general lifestyle conversations. Self-labeling myself as a lifestyle lolita, I love having this group to indulge my feminine hobbies that have long been abandoned by the international community at large.

I've written a few lifestyle related posts before, including 101 Lifestyle Lolita Ideas revisited, television and films with a lolita aesthetic and bringing back the old school aesthetic... but never one about what I actually see as being a lifestyle lolita myself.

In its essence: I think being a lifestyler means wearing lolita for occasions more frequent and casual than meetups. Enjoying traditionally feminine hobbies isn't necessary to consider yourself a lifestyle lolita in my opinion, but I think it definitely represents a large portion of the lifestyle lolita population.

How I Personally Define My Own Lolita Lifestyle

Frequency: I wear lolita at least once a week. My best friend and I try to see each other every week, and I often have meetups or other opportunities to dress up with my boyfriend or other friends. We just run errands, work on our laptops at local cafes, and generally hang out.

I'm really lucky to live in an accepting area where people are relatively used to seeing weird people all the time. I definitely get stares, "secret" photos taken of me, and nosy questions when I go out, but I never feel unsafe or like a complete freak when I go about my life dressed in lolita.

I'm also fortunate that my boyfriend is so accepting of lolita - to the point he said he would find it concerning if I stopped dressing like this because it is such a big part of who I am. He doesn't bat an eye when I choose to wear lolita on our dates or when we go for a nice walk. Having an accepting and supportive partner really contributes to my lolita lifestyle. It normalizes it for me and in our relationship, it feels less like a big event or special occasion.

Hobbies: I fall into the category of lolitas who enjoy feeling like a princess or an elegant lady. I enjoy traditionally feminine activities, and wearing lolita for more than meets makes me feel like the world is just a little bit more wonderful.

Embroidery, letter writing, nature strolls, afternoon tea, ballroom dancing, journaling, cooking and baking, sewing, sketching, reading novels, picnicking, attending ballets - these are a lot of the things I consider to be hobbies of mine, and I can partake in them while wearing lolita!

Let's Take Back Daily Lolita

Do you remember the Daily Lolita group? This was the precursor to Closet of Frills, but it was much more geared towards actual daily coordinates. These days, Closet of Frills seems to have evolved due to competition for likes and uniqueness points. Photos have gotten more professional and outfits more OTT. Nearly every photo posted there ends up on CGL to get torn to shreds. I've already written about my feelings for Closet of Frills, so I won't repeat myself.

My point is that we should embrace our fashion roots and celebrate wearing lolita casually again. If you want to wear your frills to study in the library, have lunch in the park, or just to make a fancy dinner on a week night, you should! Lolita is expensive and we should all wear our carefully curated wardrobes as much as we want.

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BB and B Review

Diamonds are a girl's best friend right? Well what about Swarovski crystals? That's what BB and B Premium Clay Confectionary wants to convince us, and I'm not mad!

I received a necklace from them to review, the Victorian Sugar Cookie necklace, and right off the bat I can tell you that I am in love with BB and B's quality.

First, a little bit of background: A few years ago I went to Rufflecon, and I bought a necklace from a boutique table I had never heard of before. This vendor was completely new to me, but their table blew me away. Absolutely gorgeous deco jewelry, head accessories, phone cases - and the prices were so inexpensive that I bought a necklace from them. I got this one from their table, and the quality was amazing for what I paid.

This time, two years later, I am still just as impressed.

The Quality: ★★★★★

For how much they charge, which would be $28 for this necklace, the quality is outstanding.

They don't skimp on the small details. The jewels, pearls, and clay pieces feel sturdy and securely glued in place. Even the weight is a nice balance between feeling cheap and feeling burdensome.

One thing I really appreciate that is usually overlooked is the type of fastener. I always notice cheap versus quality fasteners when I buy jewelry, and I love that BB and B didn't just use a cheap spring or lobster clasp. They used an adorable heart-shaped toggle clasp - I love toggles more because they are so much easier and less painful to use!

There is some lint within the crevices of the clay, but you only notice this when your face is within a few inches of the necklace. For what's it's worth, I don't think it is a big deal at all.

The Details: ★★★★★

Aside from the custom clasp, BB and B makes sure to really make the most out of normal things. On both necklaces, they attached a tiny lace piece to the under/back-side of the clay. When most jewelry companies would probably just leave this empty space blank, I like that they decorated even this spot!

I looked really hard to find fingerprints in the clay, and I found none on either piece. I don't usually buy cheap clay jewelry because fingerprints are unfortunately common and an easy mistake, so I was happy to find that BB and B's pieces are textured nicely without any prints.

A minor detail that irked me is that in the description for my Victorian Sugar Cookie necklace, it says "genuine pearls" and yet they are not genuine at all. They are plastic - which is fine! - but the description is a little misleading. Not a deal-breaker for me, but something to keep in mind.

The Website: ★★★

Since I received this necklace for free and they are located in my own state, I can't really comment on processing or shipping times. However, I can comment on their website!

I really like the look and feel of their site, with easy-to-find pages and a pretty design. They have really helpful buttons and links to everything you need. For a small indie brand, I love that they have a wishlist feature!

My problem is with their system. You can't see any prices without creating an account. In order to create an account, you have to be approved before you can actually log in and see the prices. This seems unnecessarily tedious to me, especially if I was a first-time customer. Not knowing how inexpensive these pieces actually are, I would feel like they were really expensive for how detailed they are and not want to go through the effort of creating and account if I couldn't afford them.

Conclusions: Would recommend!

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Gas Gas Gas! An Ode to Vintage Military Lolita

Thank Fear and Clothing for the pretentious title, a book I recently finished that appeals to my secret desire for unending, convoluted descriptions. Another secret of mine is my fascination for WWII and military history in general. I was that weirdo in middle school wearing 1940s wool pleated skirts, peddling to my classmates half a dozen USSR military caps that my mother bought for me off of Ebay because she thought I'd like one (emphasis on one yet six too-small caps came).

I know more about old tanks, airplanes, decommissioned military uniforms, Vietnam PTSD, and general history than I should for never really studying it in school beyond the basic stuff. This knowledge and hobby of collecting vintage military memorabilia also happens to be one of the ways I bond with my SO who is a serviceman, who so kindly helped me with this photoshoot.

He took the photos, posed me, coached me so I didn't look like a complete idiot holding a firearm, and even checked the 1953 American filter for a British gas mask I found at a surplus store that was issued in 1944 (and somehow they fit together?) so I didn't poison myself. So take this as disclaimer #1: I was supervised by a professional for safety and respect. No flagging here!

Now, when the oh-so-controversial Guerrilla Cats dress from Lyre Ivy was announced on Lolita Updates, it received strong mixed feelings. Many lolitas loved the adorable little cats dressed up as soldiers going off to battle a rat, but many others were disgusted by the theme and thought it was distasteful. "Not elegant" right... like the pizza or doge dresses are?

Of course, I knew I had to order it! I love cats and love military themes.

Now enough with the backstory! One more thing before we get to the photos. Disclaimer #2: While this firearm is real, all applicable laws and regulations were followed. Disclaimer #3: I am not a war-hawk nor insensitive to the tragedies the theme of this photoshoot brings up. I did it for the vintage, apocalyptic, totally strange but cool aesthetic of military lolita.

How did I choose my coordinate pieces?

Well, I debated leaving my hair down or putting it up. An up-do would fit the military style, but down felt more soft and feminine for lolita. I felt like a mademoiselle in the French resistance... or something. Plus it helped with the transition of putting on and taking off the gas mask.

The main pieces - jumperskirt, tights, brooch which I used on my beret - are part of the Guerrilla Cat series from Lyre Ivy. I thought about getting the light pink colorway which would match more of my wardrobe, but the army green just seemed to fit better!

The blouse is from Innocent World, the beret and boots are offbrand.

The green envelope hat is a Soviet hat I found in a lot with a uniform shirt and tie. I felt comfortable wearing it since the USSR doesn't exist anymore. The Green bag is Swiss also from WWII era. I already mentioned the gas mask (MK II Light Anti-gas Respirator if anyone cares), so I think I covered everything!

I really hope you liked the photos from this seasonally appropriate photoshoot (I don't usually get spoopy for Halloween) and enjoyed the aesthetics like I did.

If you're interested in how filters are stored, there's a short clip of me opening the totally cool and unique canister on my Facebook page. Go check it out!

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Difficult Things To Deal With In Lolita Fashion

Coming up with something to write about for this week's Lolita Blog Carnival theme was super easy. Hopefully this will jump-start my creative juices so I can finally finish a few original topics I have sitting in my drafts box... That's actually one of the things I'll be talking about that is difficult to deal with in lolita fashion!

Never Having Enough Storage Space

This is probably the bane of any lolita's existence unless they magically have a whole room or walk-in-closet solely dedicated to storing these clothes.

Even though my new apartment is a two-bedroom where one is dedicated to being our office/hobby space (translation: his school things and military gear & my lolita), somehow there just isn't enough storage space. He has the whole closet for his stuff that needs to be in a stable spot, and the booksheleves take up most of the wall space I could've used to put some kind of thing to store all the bits and bobs that come with all the frilly dresses.

Dresses, shoes, and blouses are not the hard part (yet!) with some rolling racks and an adjustable closet rod, but finding an effective place to store headbows and random parts to main pieces is always a challenge!

I did write a post on creative storage solutions, which helps, but simply having more space is always better!

Bank Account is Allergic to New Releases

Am I the only one who finds that I have spending money when there's nothing out I want, but I'm broke as soon as wishlist items and new releases I love pop up? It's one of the most aggravating things about lolita fashion (and shopping in general).

For example, I received a decent amount of birthday money this year from family who wanted to help me out with buying necessary items for my new place, but almost all of it was swallowed up by the inconvenient timing of my Bride of Death invoice from my shopping service and paying rent. I usually slide by fine financially through timing my paychecks and expected expenses, but it's like Mana-sama has it out for me some times. Most embarrassing behavior!

Trying to Find Good Lighting

If you don't care about taking photos of your coordinates and sharing them online, then you might nto be able to relate to this one. But I hate when I love an outfit I put together and can't find a spot to take an outfit shot that has good lighting and an ~aesthetic~ background.

My desire to get a good picture occasionally makes the outing feel like a chore, especially if I'm out with my boyfriend and not one of my lolita friends who understands what I'm doing. There's nothing like harsh sun shadows or grainy, dim lighting to ruin a photo of something I want to share on my Instagram. Believe it or not, I keep a folder on my phone of all my coordinate shots so I can look through what I've worn over the years and how my photo-taking skills have improved. Would you be interested in seeing this?

This test shot for a potential "photo wall" is ironically the only one without harsh shadows from my lightbox...

Feeling Like a Zoo Animal

I wish I was the kind of person who didn't feel like it was a waste to get dolled up and just stay home - then it wouldn't be such an emotional hassle going out and trying not to think about the stares and questions from strangers. These GIFs explain the experience perfectly!

The world does not revolve around me and what I'm wearing, but when random people do stare and take photos with or without permission, I feel like a zoo animal. It is definitely one of the difficult things to deal with in lolita fashion. There are groups out there dedicated to lolitas taking pictures of people taking pictures of lolitas. A mouthful I know!

Discomfort in the Name of Fashion

My style has evolved to be much more comfortable than I used to dress. False eyelashes, too-small tights, heels without padding, wig headaches, petticoat elastic, summer heat... what isn't uncomfortable? These are all difficult things to deal with, and I try to avoid them as much as possible.

Pro tip: wear a second pair of underwear or biker shorts over your tights. It's the best way to keep the infamous low-crotch phenomenon from happening.

Trying to Bounce Back From a Creative Slump

As a blogger and Youtuber (can I still call myself that when I upload once every six months now?) it's hard to find motivation to create content when life gets you down. Graduating from university, moving four times in one year, working two part-time jobs, and practically being both the breadwinner and the housewife for a boyfriend who has a demanding major really keeps me from spending as much time on these creative outlets as I used to.

Even just as a lolita, sometimes you lose your drive to dress up. Have you had these episodes? You aren't thrilled with your current wardrobe, not impressed with recent releases, too lazy or tired to wear lolita, and generally aren't feeling like the princess you want to feel like.

It's difficult to deal with creative slumps, and unfortunately I don't have any advice for you. Sorry!

But enough about me. What do you find difficult to deal with in lolita fashion? Do you relate to any of the struggles I feel?

Also, please check out the other participants in this week's theme.

Other blogs who participated:
Cupcake Kamisama
The Bloody Tea Party
Rose Nocturnalia
Spirit of the Tea Cup

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New, Fresh, and Empty Apartment

This is a personal post, so let me give you a little backstory about this apartment. If you really don't care (and that's fine!) just skip ahead to the pictures.

I've lived at my father's house all through college, but a few weeks before I was supposed to graduate the house renovations started and I had to move into my grandparents' house. My boyfriend had also been living at home - in his parent's spare room - since he got back from basic training and transferred schools/cities.

He had been looking to move out on his own again for a while, and he found an apartment to room with his best friend. He secretly got a two bedroom so I could potentially move in too later on, but his friend ultimately couldn't join.

Now, where I live the average price for a two bedroom apartment is around $2,400. Without fancy amenities, without pets, with crummy looking interiors, sometimes without parking. But this amazing miracle is only $1,600 a month, water included.

What is even more astounding is that it was being newly renovated, but we were able to keep the pre-renovation price because of his military service. He didn't even ask, the landlord is just a really generous and patriotic person.

Living room from the hallway.

Living room from the kitchen doorway.

Unfortunately, this all began in May and we are just moving in at the end of August. Not only did the renovation part take a long time because this isn't run by a fancy management company, but we hit a few bumps along the way once it was done.

Guard pay alone isn't enough to pay rent in this area - let me tell you! Because his friend had a full time job, they were going to let them rent even though they didn't really have credit. However, because it looks bad that suddenly a girlfriend enters the picture who he hasn't lived with before, I didn't have a full time job, and I didn't have credit either... they were really concerned.

Despite my father generously offering to be a co-signer and the fact that be both have plenty in savings, the landlord opened it up to other applicants. I was frantically trying to get a second part-time job opportunity into a concrete offer. Those three weeks were hell on my emotional and mental health. I don't feel comfortable explaining why I was so desperate to move out, but I cried a lot.

The universe decided to give us a break for the first time in our relationship and gave me the job offer the day I needed it before they gave it to one of the other many applicants. I don't personally believe in God, but friends and family prayed for us. I don't know if it was some higher power, fate, or just luck that we got this. There was no way we could have afforded anything more, and this was a once-in-a-lifetime deal for the quality of the place!

Kitchen from "dining area" doorway.

Kitchen from "dining area" window.

The first weekend we could move in happened to be a four day drill weekend, so I pretty much had to coordinate and move things all on my own. I'm lucky to have a father and good friends who are willing to help me with moving things. I really appreciate those friends who offer to help in times of need. You know who the true ones are in times like this.

On to more happy and exciting things, I'm pumped to start decorating and be reunited with my furniture from the last time I lived away from family.

I'm unusually excited by organizing and playing tetris with furniture and items. While not having any kind of coat/linen closet is annoying, I'm turning it into a game to find creative ways to store things. See that tall cupboard next to the oven? That actually doesn't have shelves, which is the perfect place to keep the vacuum, swiffer, etc.

I'm also relieved that the bathroom has a mirror medicine cabinet and built-in shelving for those space-hogging linens!

Bathroom from the doorway.

Bathroom shelving from the shower corner.

The smaller of the two bedrooms is where we will sleep. There is less room, but it is the room that doesn't touch any shared walls. The larger one will be where we split the room for each of our hobby/office space.

I won't show you photos of the empty bedrooms because they'll look like boring, exactly-the-same rooms. But comment down below if you'd be interested in seeing blog posts and videos about my decorating and any DIY projects I do here.

Matt knew my style since day one, so he's given up any claim of decorating except for the living room. I think at this point he's being obstinate on purpose... I had to promise to go easy on the bathroom if I could have the tiny bit of pink on the origami pillow you see below!

He recognizes that the "guy code" is stupid, but he still feels that he needs to follow it when it comes to home decor. If he brings his cousins or his military buddies home, somehow having 100% won the battle over the one room and surrendering everything else is better than compromising every room? I have no idea, but whatever! Do you understand?

Smorgasbord of Target, Michaels, and some of my late aunt's things. 

Check out my video tour if you'd like to get a better feel of the layout and see the nooks and crannies.

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